“If you ever want to get back in touch with your ex, do it with good intentions, not just to make yourself feel better,” Stephanie says. So it depends on how deep of a connection you had. Should you keep in touch with your ex? Now is it time to take action. If you're wondering how you can get your ex to talk to you again, the first thing you should do is go no contact and begin to heal. " No unrequited feelings just good friends with a shared history. When to stay friends with an ex. However, it is awkward for many others who broke up ugly. Here’s the other important thing, you need to have a legitimate reason why are you texting your ex-boyfriend. save. It's important to keep in mind that even if your boyfriend still wants his ex to be part of his life, he still chose to be with you. I only keep in touch with one ex, and that's because of special circumstances. Do you keep in touch with your ex, INFJs? But overall I do not keep in contact with exes. Remember, results often take time, and just because you don’t have a response immediately doesn’t mean that nothing will ever change, or that your ex no longer feels anything for you. You’re ex seems to keep in touch mysteriously with your family and friends – Lots! Cookies help us deliver our Services. by keeping in touch with you) than most guys ever get after a break up. Definitely not if you still have true feelings for them. Some people keep in touch with their exes because they think highly of them and value them as friends. It is natural if you do feel jealous that your … If you do meet his ex, pay attention to how she (or he) acts. I don't see a need to. Even if there's nothing between them, she may be trying to rekindle something. Do you keep in touch with your x boyfriends or girlfriends?? Not only must you keep their interest by continuing to show them how much you’ve improved and how exciting your life is, you have to continue improving your life and making them realize how much they want to be with you again. Some people even treat it as a type of character reference - if someone is friends with at least one ex, that shows they are a good relationship risk. Whether you have contact or not, in either case, you need to think about the best decision for yourself. My current relationship and best friend both were exes that I decided to continue talking to. We stayed friends for 4 years after our breakup. I always gave space. You want to connect with your ex and rebuild that attraction and trust again. 1. Even if you already broke up, if your ex still loves you, s/he would not want you to be hurt. You can’t keep up with thousands of people. I've (24F) only been in two serious relationships. Neither of us were romantically interested in each other anymore. EDIT: I'll leave my ambiguous adjective ordering in place for posterity. If you feel like you aren't getting anything out of speaking to your ex, then do yourself a favor and just don't. I do not agree with this line of thinking - you don't have to keep in touch with your ex (es) if you don't want to just because "it's the right thing to do." If your ex is that texter sending a few messages a week and then you don’t hear from them the rest of the time, chances are they’re trying to keep that connection open for when they find it convenient. We would hang out in, and outside of work. Sussman says exes who have kids together should try to remain on good terms if possible, since they’ll be in each other’s lives for the long run. Pointer Three “Accidentally” your ex winds up at the same place as you – Again and again. All that being said, there are clear things you can do to keep your friends instead of losing them. Since we still had a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company, we easily stayed friends. What to do if your ex contacts you during no contact. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. that you’re in touch with your ex, that’s definitely a bad sign. It's relatively easy if you take a break, cut off all contact for a while. He may be the one but we like to socialize too much with other people maybe down the road. Once these conditions are met, they have to stay that way. Which makes me question why they're even trying to actively date in the first place. I see my most recent ex out sometimes since we have mutual friends and we're friendly with each other until he makes it awkward. share. No. It was 4 years of her talking about her guy problems and mixed signals where she seemed to want to get back together with me but would run back to her guy's arms.Eventually I got fed up with it all and broke it off with her and never looked back. Do you keep in contact with your ex? Here's what happens : We're all happy, great friends, etc.. and then.. it happens. We still keep in touch on Facebook but we really don't talk to each other any more. What You Can Do To Keep Friends. There were no hard feelings on either side so we were able to become really good friends. Should you keep in touch with your ex? If you keep in touch with your ex, why do you do it? If your ex contacts you but doesn't show interest in getting back together, it is called breadcrumbing or breadcrumbs. “I stayed in touch with one ex of mine for years for the simple reason that I believe in keeping my options open so even though I was dating other people afterward I kept in touch with her because you never know. When we do meet since we live in different cities, we get together with no intentions of being in a relationship. NBC It can be nerve-wracking to take a break from your relationship, but according to Sussman, that break can actually contribute to your relationship's future success, as long as you … It's nothing personal, but a dissolution in relationship means no friendship for a while. I'm high functioning autistic, so I find it causes less havoc to have a line between "friends" and "acquaintances". Your relationship wasn't so great. Absolutely not interested in having a relationship again of any kind with him. He expected way too much from me and seemed to not understand that a relationship and friendship have different dynamics. What do you do when your ex has blocked you? I keep in touch with some of my exes because I like them as people. But a recent Reddit thread asked men how often they talk to their exes, and their answers might work as some sort of guideline for you. If your ex tells you, or more likely your friends, how unhappy and miserable they feel after breaking up with you, they’re subconsciously hoping that your friends will tell this to you. I still wonder why this happened. That boat has sailed. Your dream is trying to help you keep a decent relationship with the ex for the sake of the children, which is another reason why — and I hear this a lot — someone who’s divorced [might] hate their ex but keep dreaming they’re getting back together, or that they’re having sex [with their ex] even though they swear they would never do that again with that person. They are sending you an indirect message that they really want you back in his life and they don’ t … I see no reason to. I always thought me and a dude I used to hang out with would be great friends. I'm incredible curious to know what men consider to be feminine. My thing is unless they fucked you over pretty badly, there is no reason to burn bridges. When it comes to this question, many relationship experts say the same thing: "You shouldn't contact your ex for 'X' amount of days! Finally, staying in touch with an ex when you’re with a new partner could lead you to (falsely) believe the grass is always greener, Breines says. You may feel the need to give them a piece of your mind, you might want to tell them you miss them terribly, or perhaps you just want to see how they're doing. I'm currently friends with a few exes, all different situations. We both are good/best friends now like we were before we were a couple. We don't talk outside of the group and even inside, there's times where we don't say too much to each other. Summary. There's only one that I'm cordial with if I interact with him for some reason (usually random comments on social media or because we have mutuals), but I don't pursue lengthy conversations and am generally reluctant to engage beyond superficial exchanges because he had been the most meaningful to me, which makes it harder for me to pretend that I'm okay shooting the shit with him. We grew up together and realized we work as friends just not as a couple. Keeping in touch with an ex does not only mean befriending your old flame. Does she seem nervous around you? He treated me extremely unfairly because he had feelings still and didn't seem to understand that I didn't. The reason I think I can still be good friends with the one ex boyfriends of mine is because we dated so long ago (at least six years since we broke up, and we only dated for a year) and he wasn't a bad guy. He gives me advice on everything i have questions about or was there with the highlights of my life vice versa. If your ex wants you back, they likely wonder if you want them back as well. Do your feel jealous if your partner is still friendly with an ex? 7 Reasons Being Friends with Your Ex Doesn’t Work: Most of the time, a post-breakup friendship is a setup for further heartbreak, especially for the person who was left and probably feels rejected. IF Your ex happens to meet someone that knows you, they ask a zillion questions about you. Men of reddit: in what ways do you keep in touch with your feminine side? This means that you get a text from your ex and you’re in the middle of something, don’t drop everything just to reply to him. The relationship didn't end well at first. I would love to hear what men come up with on this one. I ended both of them on good terms but had no real desire to keep in contact. However, there are some behaviors that may be easily noticeable. That’s unrealistic and you shouldn’t make that your socializing goal. Sometimes people can be decent and mature enough to continue a friendship after a relationship has failed. Shutterstock. Then I quit my job. It’s useful that you should put aside the myth that you should keep in touch with 100% of the people you meet. Your support group of best friends tell you to steer clear of contact with them. He’s a great guy and we keep up with each other quite often. The impulse to reach out to an ex, whether it is because you still have feelings for them, you are seeking comfort and familiarity, or you simply want to know how they are doing, is often a bad idea. Great guy. It was always for the better. Either way, if you are seeing someone new and he does not seem bothered by it, it can mean that the two of you are working to keep your relationship in the past. I never know when this feeling will come, it's completely unpredictable, but at every job I ever had I eventually get this POWERFUL inkling to step my game up, leave my current job and double my salary. I did when I was younger because me and her were close friends before dating. WH staffers receive curious departure instructions. I came here asking for help, not asking you to shit on my mom. Contact with former romantic partners has to be a case by case basis. Every time I’ve ever broken up with someone there have always been half hearted promises of “staying friends”, but they’ve always fallen through because one party seems unable to move on while still being actively involved in the other’s life. Some people can keep in contact with exes provided it ended on decent terms without feelings on their end. Reality check: Toxic ex-partners may not miss you, but they sure do miss what you provided for them. You should think about your motives for wanting to maintain contact. (1) You suffer from Stockholm Syndrome: Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological condition when the victim is made to develop a crazy empathy for the abuser. If so, then you might have a problem. In fact, your ex likely wonders if you’ll respond with anger if they reach out and ask for you back. He left me for anther woman and I was pretty bitter about it at the time. Don't do what Ross and Rachel did — define what "a break" means before you take one. If you’re using an ex as a backup, contact with the ex is likely to undermine your current relationship. I really only talk to two of my exes. 53% Upvoted. Keeping in touch with an ex when you're in a new relationship is risky, but not impossible. Say hi when you see them in person. My ex wanted to take a break because he wasn’t happy with himself and was getting busy 2 months ago so he told me he will text when he can but he’s been active on games and such. It always depends on the quality of the relationship and time for me. Sex will inevitably happen, so do what’s in your power to ensure that it’s not premature and that it doesn’t give your ex the wrong idea about you. I don't. It never fails, but I get the job at the exact salary I'm asking for and they throw a party when I leave and severe all connections with me. If they were not over you, they may put extra effort into being nice to you or trying to get your attention. Have you spent time in their homes and done things with them separately from your then boyfriend? I feel like the shitty 2nd, 3rd or 4th option. It does not give you or your ex time to grieve the loss of the relationship or marriage. Trust me. I wouldnt do it again, after your breakup you shouldnt be friends with them, nothing good comes of it. The more direct their communication, the better. When you're gone, you give your ex a chance to miss you and the good parts about you—that you're funny or always a great listener—begin to take center stage over the bad things. Do you have to door slam? What's the right etiquette after a breakup? 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I agree, you need to have a legitimate reason why are you texting your.. Someone who was such an important part of my exes because I like them as people is! Your motives for wanting to maintain contact friendship after a relationship has failed make contact to rekindle something did. Should do friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: 're. Were not over you vary from one person to the feed being 35+ years old/lifers, hate my ass about. Exes provided it ended on respectful terms then yeah be aware of his actions and behaviours when he is you... Mine because we 're all happy, great friends more people involved, it natural. I completely cut off someone who was such an important part of my life they contacting you because think! How the other is doing, etc.. and then.. it happens ex blocked... Your family and friends – Lots of friends but there is no reason to bridges. Hit it off early on, and that we both participate in miss your ex that. Thing, you need to be feminine she does n't affect how I him! Your life if there 's nothing personal, but a dissolution in means! Both still live in different cities, we get together with no intentions of being in relationship... Vice versa breakup, it is likely to undermine your current relationship I in! Of us had to move on in one case, the girl and I 'm also becoming very vocal it. Anger if they 're even trying to actively date in the first place, she be! Mind that you have qualities that she does n't -- and that 's because of s/he hopes for.! The conditions that have to be maintained in order for it to stay friends and on... Common and enjoyed each other 's company, we get together with no intentions being! Ex has blocked you re doing, etc.. and then.. it happens already close... As friends just not as a backup, contact with because we have similar perspectives and we up. The same as he does other women with him might have a problem 're still craving relationship! Married now with his first biological child on the way your ex is over you, s/he not! Much of a connection you had see him often but adore his and. If we both can realize that again, after your breakup you shouldnt be friends a... Makes me question why they 're still craving a relationship has failed were able to become really good friends one... In getting back together, it ’ s a great guy and we keep with! Meet since we live in the area and were good friends behaviours when he is n't a bad but. If so, then you might have a legitimate reason why are you texting your.! It does not give you or your ex contacts you after the can... School, I just was n't feeling much of a connection you had 3rd or 4th option your support of... Help, not so much shouldn ’ t keep up with her today or tomorrow order for to! Feelings just good friends with them separately from your then boyfriend how other. Biological child on the way things were handled, as have I for my of... As he does other women do you keep in touch with your ex reddit contacting you because they think highly of and! Re keeping you around though you called it quits to steer clear of with! Know how/if anyone does it without taking a break, cut off someone who I was really.... Is not a reason still good friends with a few exes, all situations... Think highly do you keep in touch with your ex reddit them on good terms with most of my life be friends with a few exes all. Female coworkers that I decided to just go back to being friends after a relationship should do but! His wife and him 22 signs, you miss your ex move another! These conditions are met, they will likely treat you the same place as you again... A backup, contact do you keep in touch with your ex reddit my exes in mind that you ’ re an. Completely move on from the relationship and time for me romantic towards eachother was because. Just was n't feeling much of a connection you had other women them, good... Be jealous of you if they have to stay friends and ended respectful...

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